Know Your Competition

Do you know who you're competing against? Do you know why?

It doesn't matter if you are in business or involved in a hobby. You're competing with someone. Most businesses are striving to outdo the competition, either in better service, making more money, selling more widgets - possibly all three and more. Most people are doing the same thing, trying to make more money than Bob, have a bigger house, faster car, be a better golfer / artist / tinkerer, have more 'friends' or 'followers', whatever.

Way back in high school, I knew a multi-talented girl. She could draw. She had a beautiful voice. She played half a dozen instruments well and taught violin and piano. She got excellent grades, and she was fun. There were two other girls who each excelled at one of the things Jean did well. Dana was an outstanding soprano. Tina was an outstanding artist.

The animosity between the singers was palpable. They got into arguments, they trash talked about each other, they shared ugly looks in the hallways. They were jealous of each others talent and successes, and reveled in each others failures. Not pretty.

Between the artists, the animosity was all one-way. Jean expressed negativity toward Tina's artwork. Tina said only kind things or gave honest, constructive criticism in a kind manner. Jean might say 'that line looks a bit thick' after searching the work for flaws, and Tina would say 'You might be right, I'll take a closer look.' And if she agreed, Tina would correct the line. However, if Tina pointed out something that might be improved, Jean would snatch away the work and storm off.

Take a few minutes to truly think about who you compete with, on a personal level. Is it possible that either of these scenarios  describe your behavior? Just possible, I'm not asking you to admit that you occasionally act like a spoiled child - though almost all of us do, sometimes. Can you think of others who act this way? It is easier to see it when someone else is doing it than when we do it ourselves.

Now let me ask you a few questions:
Is Picasso a better artist than Rembrandt?
Is Pavarotti a better singer than Carrie Underwood?
Is Lamborghini a better car maker than Ferrari?
The honest answer to each is No, one is not 'better' than the other, they're just different.

This is true of every human being alive. You're neither 'better' nor 'worse' than anyone else. You might be smarter than Bob, but Bob is a lot friendlier than you are. You might be friendlier than Tom, but Tom is smarter than you are. Big deal. All those little variances are what make the world wonderful. Even if Tom knows way more stuff than you know, you know something Tom doesn't, and Bob knows something you don't. There are people who like you that dislike Bob. There are people who like Tom but dislike you. Big deal.

Quit competing with the rest of the world. Do you know who you should be in competition with? YOU. See if you can be kinder today than yesterday. See if you can handle this paycheck better than you handled the last one. See if you make a firmer, tastier meatloaf than you made last week. See if you can learn 3 new words this week, and use them properly in conversation. Draw a prettier rose, stitch a straighter line, perform a cleaner oil change, handle an argument more gently, offer a more sincere apology, be more patient with the kids or cat or your spouse than last time.

Simply spend your energies on trying to be a better person than you were five minutes ago instead of trying to outdo someone else. Out do You. Not only will people like you more, You'll like you more. You'll feel happier, get better at the things you do, and be more forgiving of yourself and others.

That's what I learned from Tina.