Aural Projection

Aural Projection

On  December  6, 2011, Dobie Gray died. Dobie was a musician, a singer. I only know one of his songs. That song, Drift Away, was written by Mentor Williams and recorded by Dobie Gray in 1973. For the last 38 years, Drift Away has been one of the few songs to consistently touch me. Many songs have had special moments in my life, some have gotten me through the really rough times, but few still touch me the same way now as they did then. Drift Away is my song. It perfectly describes the impact music has on my life and my soul.

There are songs that should never be allowed to die. They need to be renewed, so that subsequent generations can benefit from them. There are songs that are so iconic, it seems sacrilegious to remake them. Drift away is both, it needed to be remade to bring it back into the light, but what an undertaking! Uncle Kracker teamed up with Dobie Gray to do a beautiful remake. Either version moves me to tears every single time I hear them. Every time. Not because the song is sad or associated with sad memories, but because this song so perfectly says what I want to say. This song uplifts me, even when I am already up. When I am down, Drift Away reaches down into the depths of my misery, wraps its music around the ache in my soul, and sets me free.

This is a crank-it-up-and-sing-your-heart-out song. Hit repeat and play it again. I’m thankful Mentor Williams put a piece of his soul into the song, and I’m thankful Dobie Gray found it, wrapped it in a piece of his own soul, and poured it out for the world to hear.

Besides rescuing me from random funks, Drift Away takes me back. When I hear it, I feel the sun on my arms and legs. I feel the soft, cool grass between my toes. I hear the mingled voices of dozens of young people loving life on a warm summer day. I smell summer, that summer. This song plants me firmly in the middle of Fort Washington Park, on the huge green in the center, with Frisbees flying, touch football games, the mingled music of cruising cars, boom-boxes, and guitar toting hippies.  I don’t mean I remember the scene; I actually experience it. I don’t get that from the Uncle Kracker version of the song, just from Dobie’s rendition. Most songs that do this sort of thing for me only give me little flashes, like seeing snapshots. Dobie gives me the whole movie, in Technicolor, with Dolby quad sound.

Since we spent the entire summer in that park, with hundreds of other kids, I have a lot of good memories of Fort Washington. A lot of songs, sounds, and aromas elicit mental snapshots of that time. The snapshots have entire stories behind them, but with Drift Away, there is no single story; just that immersive experience I described above. Drift Away is my trigger for an instant connection with the universe, a three minute meditation that truly does ‘sooth my soul’.

Walking inside the Clouds

I love fog. Fog is magical. Fog wipes away the 'what is' and opens the door to the 'what might be'. You can be anywhere, in a fog. A plain old field by light of day becomes another country or planet in a fog. You could be Underhill, trudging across the frozen tundras, or weightless on the moon, in a fog. Creatures that might shy away from humans come out and cavort in a fog. Fairies love a fog, ask any will-o-the-wisp! Familiar things take on new dimensions, the outlines blur and the colors dim. Its easy to believe that a tree might uproot itself and go for a stroll, in a fog. Sound, too, becomes magical in a fog. Voices carry across the field, so those far away sound near, and those near sound distant. Water babbles better in the fog. You can almost make out the words. I think that is the water nymphs teasing me. So here is the fog; where the world is something other than it was, where faeries romp and dryads walk their trees; where water nymphs sing and laugh and splash about. Here is fog; where you can be transported to any place that you can imagine, and several you never thought of. Here is fog; where imagination, and magic, and possibility are one.

I love fog. I had the pleasure of driving around in it all night. I know most drivers dislike the fog, it does make things iffy, but I love it. Ugly places look pretty in fog. Pretty places look ethereal, but ugly ones suddenly become lovely. The photograph at the top of the post is a small street that runs between two shopping centers. Shopping centers are not pretty. If you stand where I stood, without fog, all you see are squat little buildings. With fog, its a landing strip on another planet. Fog is best in the dark, second best just as day begins to break. Once the sun is up, the fog quickly dissipates. If it sticks around, it backs off, like a shy child. Or, as it did this morning, it wanders off to visit with the cows.

 Even if you don't go off on fantastic journeys to otherworldly places, fog is fabulous. The idea of being inside of a cloud is just wonderful. When I see clouds in the sky, I always wonder if there are beings walking around inside of it. If I were light enough to walk inside a sky cloud, I imagine it would be sort of springy and firm. It would cradle me in safety, yet let me climb and descend as I chose.  I imagine the tops as being very fluffy so my feet could sink in, and the bottoms as being sort of thick and firm, like the skin on a pudding, keeping me from falling through the cloud.  I love to find a light source and look at the millions of droplets that form the cloud/fog.  When you see a cloud in the sky, it is hard to believe that it is not solid. It looks firm and fluffy, like whipped cream. But when it sits on the ground and you stand inside it, it isn't solid. You can clearly see the spaces between the droplets. Being inside a cloud makes quantum physics make sense. Nothing is solid, its just that we are bigger than the spaces between, and so we don't fall through.

I love fog.

Plausible Humor

I just watched an episode of Two Broke Girls. I wish they'd write a little more realistically, though the idea of buying one of a kind designer jewelery in the bathroom is amusing. What I am wondering is why these girls would hike all over town trying to get a decent price for the gold content of unique, collectible rings. Why not auction them off? If the best the gold monkeys would offer is $225 for one ring, start the bidding at $225. Seems like something a rich girl would know. I'm a poor girl and I know it.

This is why I don't write comedy, I guess.  I need it to be plausible. I think there's plenty of fodder for realistic comedy. People do some whacked shit. My sister mentioned that someone had sent a Christmas card to her office, which was passed around so everyone could read it. One guy signed it and passed the card and pen to the next employee. Perfectly natural and funny as hell. Funny is stuff we might actually do. I guess that's why I found the idea of selling rings in the bathroom funny - I can see that as something that could happen.

I had a guy offer me $2 for a cigarette in New york City about ten years ago. I gave him two cigarettes, no charge. I can imagine getting busting for black-market cigarette distribution because you sold a 30cent Virginia cigarette for $2 in NYC. It's ridiculous but plausible. Cigarettes are a controlled substance. I can see the beggar being undercover, and having twenty ATF agents drop into a crouch and whip out gold-plated Glocks for the bust would just be funny.

Something else I find amusing is when someone unwittingly tosses out double entendres. You know the sort I mean, the ones that just silence all conversation for a moment while everyone looks at the poor innocent who said it. We had awesome little chocolate cookies at work the other night. Some of them had white chocolate kisses on them, some had maraschino cherries. One of the guys walked over to the cookies and said - enthusiastically - "Yeah, we got some good cherry action going on over here."  Half a dozen amused faces looked up from paperwork and one voice said "Dude, are you fornicating with the cookies again? Didn't we talk to you about that?" Then the sheer joy of watching as the innocent realizes what he said to begin with. It's just funny.

I think the problem with sit-coms is that they tend to lock the characters into a particular sort of behavior. The characters aren't fully developed, they're just caracatures. Constant short jokes aren't funny after a while. What is funny is seeing tall people and short people working in the same space. Every one puts things down where they can easily reach them again. If one guy is 6-foot-something and the other is barely 5 feet tall, they aren't going to agree on what is reachable. It's even funnier if the tall person is female and the short person male. When he climbs up to where she put the salt shaker, he is suddenly confronted with tampons or a stash of K-Y. Or she has to get under the counter to find a bowl he put away and finds a copy of Bestiality magazine open to the centerfold.

That's funny on different levels. First, just being faced with the unexpected is funny. None of those items belong in a kitchen, most men are wigged out by feminine accoutrements, and most women would be appalled to be flashed by the centerfold of a tasteful magazine; Bestiality magazine would just exaggerate the disgust. Not to mention, anyone finding that magazine in the kitchen is going to think twice before eating the turkey.

Second, it's funny because it makes us think about our world view. I imagine really tall people see a lot of crooked hair parts, dandruff, and bald spots.Not to mention, cleavage. Really short people probably notice double chins, nose hair, and buggers. For either to suddenly see the world from a different height opens up huge potential for comedy. I can just see the guy using the K-Y in place of WD-40 to oil a hinge, or the girl shoving the centerfold under the stove as a roach repellent.

Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues (Or Why emotional scenes are so hard to write.)

I suck at mopey. I always have. Oh, I can kick out a mean moping, wallow in the mire of misery, I just suck at putting it into words.  John Steinbeck did good mopey stuff. It was honest. People suffering life, and while they were sad stories, they were full of life too. Poe can mope in style - read Annabelle Lee. I write bad mope. The whiny sort of crap that makes you scream "Oh, fergodssakes, JUMP already!"
What brings this up?, you might ask.
I'm watching a movie - Hope Floats. Here's a woman who is hurting, and the story is real. I mean, its believably written. When I write it, it feels contrived and embarrassing. I think writing sorrow is too much like letting down defenses. It's uncomfortable and when I read what I wrote, it sounds stilted. It makes me cringe. Obviously I need to practice.

I titled this piece after a song - Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues. Everybody gets the blues sometimes. (That's another song. Lets see how many I can reference in one paragraph and stay on topic.) We all have times when no matter how bright the sun is outside, it's raining inside (Sunrise - Uriah Heep). Since these are universal emotions, you'd think they'd be easier to put down on paper. Sometimes the words are too personal, at least for me. And if I think too much while I am writing it, it stinks. But if I don't think, if I just let the words flow, its too personal and I can't bear to let it go public. The weird thing about that is that it doesn't have to be something I've actually experienced and it can still end up feeling way too personal.

Anywho, Hope Floats. This is a good movie. There's a lot of life in it. It starts out with our heroine learning - on live television- that her husband and best friend are having an affair. That made me think of all the crappy shows we have like that. Why do people watch? Why do people want to see someone's life ripped to pieces like that? And why do people go on those shows? I totally do not get this. Why trick someone into that kind of humiliation? Just as bad are the people who go on thinking they are going to humiliate someone else and not recognizing how badly they come off, themselves. I also don't get why anyone would do televised court TV.

This goes back to the "too public" thing I was talking about earlier. I think its mostly good that we don't cave in to 'shame', but I also think its maybe a little bad that we don't seem to have any shame either. I remember thinking, back in the '90's, that it was rather nice that chubby females were not ashamed of being chubby. In the '70's thin was definitely 'in' and chubby girls did everything they could to hide their weight. In the early '90's that changed, which is mostly good. You shouldn't be ashamed of your body and it ought to be okay to not be perfect.

You shouldn't be ashamed that once upon a time you made some mistake that probably felt like the end of the world at the time. Doing stupid stuff is part of growing. Everyone makes mistakes but doing the same stupid stuff repeatedly is just stupid. Don't be ashamed of the things you actually learned some lesson from. By the same token, you shouldn't really wear your past idiocies as some sort of Badge of Glory either.

Somehow we've gone to the other extreme. A hundred years ago, you could never live down some mistakes. Now we act like they are something to be proud of. No middle ground. Same with weight - we went from semi-starved to fat, and every body is still half dressed. We have guts hanging out and butt cracks escaping. I still believe we should not be ashamed of our bodies, but I wish we took a little better care of them!

I think they put the televised humiliation scene into the movie hoping to make a point. It repeats later, a different scene, but we get to see the reaction of the heroine to someone else's suffering. Maybe it made a few people realize how ugly those shows are. It was another scene that made me aware of how awkward my written emotional scenes are compared to how well done this scene was.

I make connections. So this scenario also brought to mind the other TV shows - the ones that supposedly are meant to educate the public - like "Hoarders". Supposedly they are trying to get people to understand that this lifestyle isn't a choice, it's an illness. The shows aren't popular because viewers want to see people get help. Humans are judgmental and these shows feed that.

People often say that children are cruel. I think humans have a stunning capacity for cruelty. That makes writing emotional scenes even harder. You're trying to convey the misery without eliciting the ridicule factor. 'Hope Floats' used visuals to keep the sympathy with the heroine. The 'best friend' was less attractive, poorly groomed, slightly sleazy looking. The heroine was pretty, dignified and reacted with quiet grace. The husband was a jerk.

The acting is what made the scene, not the writing. Movie scripts are sparse, unlike books. A book might describe the look on her face, the tremble in her shoulders. A book might state that she held back her tears, and might give insight into her thoughts. Movie scripts do not. The dialog is interpreted by the director and actors, so what the writer envisioned and what gets acted out may not match. This is why movies are rarely what the book reader expected.

I watched this scene and wondered if I could write it as a book scene. This is when I admitted to myself that I suck at writing this sort of scene and started figuring out why I find these scenes so challenging. Shame and judgment are inherently connected. I think people try so hard to suppress feeling shame that it makes them even more judgmental, as a sort of defense mechanism.  I get very attached to my characters. I become protective. I don't want to open them up to ridicule, I try to shield them. As a result, my scenes are stilted. I have the same problem in reverse if I dislike a character; I write them as too nasty. In reality, mean people are sometimes nice and nice people are occasionally real jerks.

Book: The Horse Boy

The Horse Boy Rupert Isaacson, 2009, Little, Brown & CompanyA Father's Quest to Heal His Son
What is it like to watch your child slide into autism? What would you do to heal him? Would you travel halfway around the world, trek across Mongolia, into Siberia, on horseback? To heal your child, would you eat half raw, boiled yak organs and drink fermented sour yaks milk tea? And would you - could you- do all this with that child in tow?
We judge, harshly, the parent whose child is publicly disruptive. 'Control your kid!' We think.
Some even say it, venomously. 'Control. Your. Kid!'
What a frightening concept! Control your kid. As parents, as adults, shouldn't we strive to guide our children? To educate them, to encourage them? Shouldn't we be teaching them how to be true to themselves in a world that demands conformity? Oddly enough, we celebrate those who don't conform - the star athletes, the brilliant scientists, the excellent artists of every stripe, and the business people who build something new. Yet we seek to control our children, and mold them in our images.
Parents with autistic children struggle just to communicate!And they do it with a fierce, deep love that aches and thrills, and somehow provides the strength to keep trying.
It's hard. To, day after day, nurture, love and protect a child you cannot connect with. It is stressful, exhausting, frustrating. And when you add the censure, the judgements of those who have no idea what your family goes through, the condemning looks and commentary, it is also infuriating.
You wouldn't wish this struggle on anyone. You wouldn't wish this suffering on any child. Yet you do wish those stone throwers could live your life for just one day. They might, you think, develop some compassion.
We never know what someone else is going through. That snarly face on the train might be someone suffering deep physical pain, or exhausted from nursing an aging parent while working a full time job, or caught up in the circular mental rehashing of something traumatic to them. Even if we have experienced a similar event, we don't know what it is like for them, because it isn't just one event, its one event on top of everything else they have experienced in their lives. We Don't Know! If we could look at these people with that knowledge - that we don't know- and send them a postive thought, of love, or relief, of something to make them smile, not only would they benefit, so would we! You've surely felt it... when someone is looking at you with disapproval, even if you didn't see it, you felt the negative vibrations. You've also felt the uplifting vibrations when a stranger shares a smile with you, or seems to understand your struggle. How you respond to others affects them. And you. More love, less judgement.
There is hope in The Horse Boy. Stress, fear, worry, exhaustion, wonder, awe, joy, beauty, compassion, and profound love. Worth Reading. (Also a movie; the book gives you more of the Father's thoughts. I enjoyed the book more because so much had to be edited out of the movie.)

Funny Books!: Sweet Potato Queens, Stephanie Plum, and every thingTerry Pratchet has ever written

God save the Sweet Potato Queens Jill Connor Browne, 2001, Three Rivers Press

Here's my advice: If it says Sweet Potato Queen anywhere in the title, and Jill Connor Browne somewhere on the cover. Get it, read it, love it, pass it on! This woman is hilarious. I suspect that a lot of men might be utterly baffled by her books, but most women will join me in the floor with side splitting laughter and tears rolling down aching cheeks. I was still in chapter one and I wanted to go out and organize a parade just so I could personally experience that level of uninhibited fun!
The Sweet Potato Queen's stories remind me of my own stories, bringing to mind some of those wonderfully hilarious events - the sort that can still make your ribs ache even 20 years after the fact. Letters from readers that are so funny, I had to call my sister to read them to her. (Because, yes, they reminded me of some of her stories -especially the projectile vomit slide story! And wouldn't you like to know?)
GO! Get any of the books by Jill Connor Browne. Read 'em and weep (tears of laughter!)

More? Get the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich.  Start with "One for the Money", there are at least 18 now, in numerical order. (Two for the Dough, Three to get Deadly, etc.) These books make me laugh my tookus off, out loud, in public. Enough that random strangers want to know what I'm reading.

Another hilarious writer - and probably my all time favorite- is Terry Pratchet. I don't care which book it is, its hilarious. Disc World is the planet, and Ankh Morpork is the place to be! Can I pick just one to review? No. Pick a book - any book - and read. You can start anywhere or here. Terry has books for young adults in the DiscWorld series that are good enough for adults too. He's good. That's an understatement.

Books!: Four Good Non-Fiction Reads

Career renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love Jonathan Fields, 2009 Broadway Books
This one promises to be different from the usual career change book, and it actually is. Renegade offers viable suggestions on how to find a niche within your chosen field and how to decide what you really want to be doing. It includes concrete examples of unusual ways others have turned hobby into enjoyable profession, and resources available on- and off-line. The resouces alone are astounding, so even if you don't want to become a career renegade, you can apply the resources to what you already do.
Or to what you always wanted to learn and couldn't afford the tuition on, since one of the resources links you to major Free college courses. Worth reading!

Furry Logic; A guide to Life's Little Challenges Jane Seabrook, 2004 Ten Speed Press Cute critters, amusing captions, light-hearted, quick and giftable. You probably don't need to check this one out, you can read it and enjoy the artwork in a matter of minutes but it really is giftable. So next time you need an all-purpose on-hand sort of gift, try this book. Ms. Seabrook has others as well, all along the same lines as this one. They all would make a memorable get-well 'card' from the whole office or going away gift for the co-worker you barely co-work with.
 Got Sun? Go Solar expanded second edition Rex A. Ewing and Doug Pratt
2009, PixyJack Press Great book! Easy to follow discussion of how to determine what you need, where to get it, how to estimate true costs and savings, configure your set up, and when to hire a pro. Also includes info on handling the paperwork if you go it alone, and where to find out what financial incentives are offered and by whom. Minor discussion of wind power, which is very limited in its regional applicability. Major focus is solar and the advances are worth investigation even if you aren't planning to go green.
re-bound; Creating Handmade Books from Recycled and Repurposed Materials Jeannine Stein, 2009 Quarry BooksBeing and artist and writer, handmade books delight me. If you happen to be one of the 7million people (I never exagerate![I never generalize either...]) who have said to me " I'm just not creative", this book is for you. See, what I think is that everyone is creative! Pretty much everything we do, we do our own way. We make it our own, whether it is adapting the packaged noodles or getting dressed in the morning, we add our own touches.
re-bound tells you how to bind your book, gives specific instructions for 16 different types of book that I think anyone can make, and offers inspiration to do more. You can make your book for a specific purpose, or leave it blank. It can be tiny or jumbo. It can be paper, cloth, crushed tin cans, or whatever else strikes your fancy. Some of mine are made from Tarot cards, others from copper, one is made from a wine bottle cork. I even have a few that are made from a single sheet of standard typing paper folded to make a 16 page pocket album of my photographs. Easy-peasy and very rewarding.
Check this one out, try it! If you really hate the results, well you made it from 'trash', so it won't be that hard to toss it out, but I think you'll find out two things - That your book is very cool and that You Are Creative!

Book: Breakfast at Sally's

 Breakfast at Sally's Richard LeMieux, 2008 Skyhorse Publishing

At a time when so many businesses are failing, and so many homes are being repossessed, this book offers a clear view of how that feels. Sounds depressing, doesn't it? And it is. But it is also a book about hope. And sharing. Unconditional love. Compassion. So it is also uplifting, inspiring. There are moments when it sucks the breath right out of your lungs and others when it fills them with the pure fresh air of love.
Very often, I think we forget to be thankful for what we have.We take it for granted or we focus on what is wrong instead of what is right. What you focus on thrives. So if you are focused on your troubles, they flourish. Even when it seems like everything has gone wrong, there has to be something you can appreciate. Find it! If there are holes in your shoes, be thankful you aren't barefooted. If you are barefooted, be thankful you still have feet.
When I was 7 or 8, my father had a friend who had no arms. He made double use of his legs, driving a customized car, opening doors, writing (legibly, amazingly enough!), even playing cards. He said maybe he had no arms, but his shoulders were broad enough to carry a friend when needed. He carried my father for a time, while Dad adapted to the diagnosis of terminal cancer and 2 years to live.
He taught my Dad how to focus on the good things, how to laugh inspite of the pain, how to Live the time he had left. It took a while, but it gradually seeped past the coping mechinisms Dad had in place (alcohol, self pity, and most devastating, a belief that the doctors could predict when he would die.) Somehow, Dad managed to live 22 years instead of 2, with a lot of humor and determination along the way. Eventually he quit drinking, smoking (he'd smoked for 40 years when he quit!)and most important, quit believing the doctors were gods. He never lost respect for the doctors, and had some fantastic docs at the V.A. throughout his life. Every time a new disease who pop up, he'd say "I don't care, I'm living a life here!" He always took time to stop and appreciate the beauty of nature, to find a rainbow in the storm, and to help someone who needed a hand. And he never stopped laughing.

In Breakfast at Sally's, LeMieux introduces us to a host of people with heavy burdens and shoulders still strong enough to carry a friend in need, with hearts big enough to love the friend and their flaws, and with empty wallets full enough to pass on a buck or two to someone in need.

This is one of those books that I wish I could place into the hands of every person on earth. This story needs to be heard and it gives back much, much more than it takes. Breakfast at Sally's. Check it out.

Worth Reading; One Reader's Recommendations

The Why, What, and How of Worth Reading; One Reader's Recommendations
I read a lot, and have since I was 4 years old. Therefore, I also read fast. All this reading happens inbetween. In between working 3 different jobs, doing all the usual chores, having a delightful relationship and being both a writer and artist. Oh, yeah, and sleep. So, I'm busy, but theres plenty of time for reading because we make time for what we love. Your brand of busy is probably different from mine, but there's some time for reading in there and I can help you find books worth your time. At least, that's my goal.
All of the books reviewed here are available from the Central Rappahannock Regional Library (Fredericksburg, Va.)and linked to Amazon if I can find the book listed there. All of the reviews are for books I find worthy of sharing. The way I see things, if it isn't worth reading, it isn't worth reviewing!
Books may be new releases or 30 years old (or older, who knows!) If I read it recently and found it good, I'll review it. Books may be Fiction or Non. Most of the reviews will not include a synopsis! Crazy, I know. But that's how it is.
Fiction might be general fiction, science fiction, fantasy, mystery, they might even be geared toward children or young adults. I'll read nearly anything! They are highly unlikely to be filed under 'romance' though they may well have elements of romance. What doesn't?
Non Fiction could be nearly anything. I have no desire to actually build a boat, but I have read several books on how to - I just want to know everything! So I read a wide range of books. If they are written so that they make sense to me, I consider that worth sharing. So one book on quantum physics may be covered, while the next may not. I love the books that expert writes for the layman when they actually manage to speak to the layman!
Not big on most of the 'idiot' type books - I'm actually not an idiot (most of the time), and I don't enjoy being spoken down to. I want a writer who knows vast amounts and can put that knowledge into accessible terms, while presuming that the reader actually possesses a functioning brain. Writers are encouraged to write for readers on an 8th grade reading level. That's okay, as long as they remember that reading level and intelligence level are not the same thing! Plenty of bright people don't read well due to dyslexia, eye conditions, or just lack of practice.
I also want a writer who uses words I don't know. How else will I be exposed to new words? How else will I be exposed to new concepts? I love a writer who occasionally sends me to the dictionary. I am blessed to own a $1 copy of the Compact Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, I like being able to use it. (Yes, One dollar. Thrift stores are marvelous, and even though I tried to convince them to take at least $10, they refused. The patron saint of word lovers was looking out for me that day!)
If it is funny, I'll review it. If it elicits a lot of strong emotion, I'll review it,with the exception of anything that I find too depressing to finish. Life has elements of misery in it, but I'm pretty freeping cheerful, so I tend to wander away from overly maudlin writing.
In short, there isn't a lot I don't read, and I read a lot. My weekly visits to the library net an average of 25 books, most of which are consumed and returned the following week. The more challenging books may stay with me longer, as may those I just haven't bothered with yet, and those that inspired me so much I regret returning them. Some get read several times before they go back, and some get checked out repeatedly, because I find new insights each time I read them. Some will inspire me to veer off into philosophical rants in the middle of a review. I hope you'll forgive that (better, I hope you'll enjoy it!)
savialeigh

Lifeline

 (songs mentioned are linked for listening or viewing)

Sometimes, life sucks. I don’t mean sometimes we have a bad day. I mean sometimes so much of your life is so totally opposite of what you wish for, that the only way to describe it is to say it sucks. I mean the times that last for weeks or months, even years, on end. If you’re lucky, something comes along to help you get through. You have to get through, you can’t go around it. You can wallow in it or you can get through it. Those are the options.

If you live long enough, there will be several sucky periods to get through. Sounds dreadful, and while you’re there, it is – but without the hard times, the smooth sailing is pretty bland. You grow a lot while you work on getting through. You come out the other side stronger, smarter, and oddly willing to enjoy life. If you aren’t stronger, smarter, and more inclined to appreciate things, you probably haven’t come out the other side yet. Just so you know….

Anyway, something helps you get through. Maybe you see a movie that has one little segment that resonates with you. Maybe you overhear a piece of conversation that gives you a new perspective. Maybe, like me, your lifeline is in a song. Songs are good because you can play them over, you can sing them even if they aren’t playing. I had a song that ran through my head like a little choo-choo on a circular track. I wore out 2 cassettes playing that song endlessly. 

That song, my ‘lifeline’, was “Any Major Dude” by Steely Dan. I love Steely Dan anyway, but I think I owe them my sanity. I was lucky enough to find a Major Dude (two, actually) to tell me that “any minor world that breaks apart, falls together again.”  First it just felt like they were singing directly to me, like Fagin and Becker were my closest friends there to prop me up. I think after playing it about 398457 times over the course of a few days I had brainwashed myself into thinking positively. I started to know it would get better and I would get through it. Eventually I did. Not before wearing out those two cassette tapes though.

That song also led me to recognize that our thoughts have immense power over our attitudes. I could have spent forever lamenting all that had gone wrong and blaming that one (decidedly major) traumatic experience for all my misery. I could still be wallowing in despair. Some people do that for the rest of their lives. Its hard to quit being miserable if all you do is think about how miserable you are.

Steely Dan made me think about what I had to smile about. First, ‘Any Major Dude’ gave me something to smile about. The song made me feel hopeful, the music made me tap my feet, and I would sing along. I feel sorry for my friends and family. I surely did not mumble along, I SANG. I belted out ‘Dude” at the top of my lungs. I dug down into my toes and pulled the words up through the ground and it swelled into a crescendo of catharsis that rattled the windows. I don’t have a fabulous singing voice. No one told me to shut up, so either they just love me a whole lot, or horrible caterwauling of a joyful tune is preferable to whining in misery. Either way, I sang that song a lot.

I find it difficult to reach into my soul, sing, and remain mopey. A couple of songs advise just that; ‘Song Sung Blue’ by Neil Diamond, and ‘Sing’ by The Carpenters. Neil points out that no matter how blue you are when you start, when you sing from the heart you just can’t stay mopey. The Carpenters encourage everyone to just sing, no matter what, and to sing out! I play those songs and bellow along. 

If I don’t have access to actual music, I just sing. I segue from one song to the next. ‘Song Sung Blue’ leads to ‘Sing’. ‘Sing’ leads to an Art Garfunkel tune  ‘I shall Sing’.  These are lively songs. I don’t think its possible to sing them without becoming energized. Youtube makes this a lovely experience. I think the song, type it in, and there it is. Any idea how often they (THEY!!) play ‘I shall Sing’ on the radio? Never. That’s how often. Youtube allows me to play the songs from my streamofconsciousness concert.

That could go anywhere. Today it moved to ‘Calling Occupantsof Interplanetary Craft’ (Carpenters). Another day it might move to ‘YouPositively Lost Me’ (Rave-Ups) or ‘Birdhouse in your Soul’(They Might Be Giants).

Willie Nelson wrote a very interesting little book called ‘The Tao of Willie’. I recommend it! In this book, Willie talks about how what he sang affected his life. He says that one day he realized that his life mirrored his songs when all along he thought his songs mirrored his life. He decided to try singing more positive songs and see what happened. Y’all know the old joke about playing country music backwards to get back your wife, your truck, and your dog? Go read ‘The Tao of Willie’. It has good thoughts, and even more important, it is highly entertaining. 

Then think about what songs you’re singing.

Honest 'likes'

I was on Facebook for a minute today. I don’t like facebook, which is why I was only there a minute. While I was there I noticed a “like Walmart” advert. It said  that ‘liking’ Walmart would “score” me “everyday low prices”. Um. They have those anyway right? So ‘liking’ Walmart really only gets me more crap ads posted on my fb page, and spammed to anyone who happens to have friended me.

I dislike all the companies who have these types of promotions. Like us and get a coupon. Like us and be entered into a drawing -along with 240 million other people who fell for this- for something worth $3. The stores ‘look’ popular and don’t have to pay for advertising. The ‘liker’ doesn’t really benefit most of the time, and I suspect that they usually don’t really care about the store one way or the other. But ‘like’ is the only way to get the coupon, which they then have to print before they can forget to use it. Personally, I wish companies would just offer fair pricing to begin with.

There used to be a department store in the DC area – The Hecht Company – waaaay back when, it was reasonably upscale and popular. Somewhere along the line it became the store that sent out glossy sale booklets through the mail every week. Every week, a booklet. Not a 4 page flier, a 20+ page magazine sized book. To 100,000 or more local residents. Imagine the postage on that, and keep that idea in mind for later.

Now what annoyed me about these sale books was that every week they claimed everything in the store was 50% off. They put in ‘save an extra 20%’ coupons for every department in the store. The way I see it, if you can afford to take 50% or more off everything that often, you over priced it to begin with. Plus, if you do that every single week, it is not a sale, that IS your regular price, so the 50% off stuff was a lie. The sale was 20% off if you actually used the coupon. Forget the coupon, pay regular price.

Because I felt like the ads were a glossy red lie, I refused to shop at the Hecht Company. I was also annoyed that they killed all those trees every week to send out the same basic false sale. Now, eventually the Hecht Company went bankrupt. I suspect I was not the only person who noticed that nothing was really 50% off “regular” price because “regular” was the 50% off price. I also suspect that the cost of printing and mailing that fake sale paper every single week ate deeply into the bank account. 

This is what I mean by ‘charge a fair price’. A store has overhead, whether brick or cyber. Pricing has to cover overhead. Stock, space, electric, phones, shipping supplies, business license fees, employees, whatever you use is overhead. So the product has to cost at least enough to pay for itself and the work that went into getting it on the shelf.

 No one goes into business to only cover overhead, so pricing also need to produce a bit of profit. If the average selling price of Widgets is $1.00 and Widgets cost you .75 to get on the shelf, profit is twenty-five cents. If your widgets only cost you fifty cents, you can either sell them for less, and possibly sell more of them, or you can sell them for the going rate and make more profit that way. You can sell your product for whatever price you want. If I like your price, I’ll buy it. If you sell it for $1 and I don’t like your service or trust your store, and Joe’s corner store sells it for $1.25, I’m going to Joe’s. It isn’t all about price. It’s about service, integrity and fairness.

Now you may wonder how I got here from facebook and the whole “like us for rewards” thing. I don’t trust all those coupon-induced ‘likes’. When I see a store with 2342342987864643 ‘likes’ on fb, I think of those Hecht Company ads. When I see a small local company who has 500 likes, that I believe. 500 people who didn’t have to be bought to want to share a store with their friends on fb makes me think I should check that store out. 500,000 who share a store with quirky merchandise I can believe too. But I don’t believe that millions of people were so thrilled with ‘ordinary’ that they felt compelled to share it with every one.

I can believe that 804,916 people ‘like’ Wawa. If you go to Wawa’s fb page, they do have a ‘like us for deals’ but they don’t have that plastered everywhere. It’s on their fb page, so to find it you have to go there or see it because one of your friends ‘liked’ it.  Those are genuine ‘likes’. 

There is some advertising on this blog and it is likely to be content related. Therefore either Walmart or Wawa may end up being advertised here. If I had my druthers, it'd be Wawa, because Wawa is awesome. Go there. Get coffee. I drive past half a dozen coffee shops and convenience stores to get to Wawa's coffee.  Try it, or try a hoagie. Both are excellent.  I bet you'll be willing to go find Wawa's fb page and like them too.