Everybody judges. It's human nature. I don't think judging is bad, all by itself. Problems arise when we fail to examine our judgements.
'Oh, look at her - can you believe she's wearing that? Doesn't she own a mirror?'
The question here is why shouldn't she dress however she chooses? We're big on dress to impress as long as it impresses us. We're big on dress to express, too - but only when it's our expression or we approve of what the other person is 'saying'.
When I find that my first reaction is 'doesn't she own a mirror?' I give myself a mental shake. I don't know that she isn't looking at me thinking the same thing. I ask me who I am to judge her choices - or anyone's choices.
I don't know what you've been through, how you feel, what you want, I don't really know anything about anyone. I might know what you choose to tell me, but I don't know where that fits in your philosophy. Most of the time, we don't know where our own thoughts fit in our philosophy - that's what life is about: figuring out who we are and how we react to the world around us. Examining our judgements is one way to figure it out.
I used to dress to make my ass and boobs stick out to the world. Now I dress to fit what I am doing and the time of year.(meaning I put on a bra if I can not get away without one) Thank you to the people that have been in my life with any and all of the problems they have had because the problems you have had became mine too and helping you with them set me free. I did not put that needle in your arm; but we talked about it. I did not raise you but we talked about how you were raised, I had not lost a child and now I know how the loose that changed your life has has changed you. I can not walk a day in your shoes but I can feel some of the things that have made you who you are. And for all of your suffering I am sorry; but for the time you spent sharing it with me I thank you; you have made me a better person. I spend more time defending then judging; age and good people have made me better (I hope).
ReplyDeleteWe grow because we choose to grow. What has made you (and any of us) better is the compassion you view the world through. Wanting to understand is the most valuable thing we have to give.
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