I'm passionate about learning, creating, and teaching. I like learning just about anything, but the things I return to most often are psychology/philosophy in the form of self-improvement and understanding, and making stuff. I like figuring out how something was made. I like seeing if I can make one too. I like seeing what something can become - like seeing a fork as a giraffe, or figures in driftwood. I like sharing what I know or what I think, when it comes to being a better person. Mostly, "better" means happier. Considering these are life-long endeavors that I haven't stopped pursuing, it seems to me that my true path lies in there somewhere.
I could teach arts and crafts. I like doing them, and I like sharing how, and I am inspired by the things other people think up. I offered art glass classes for nearly a year and never had a single taker. I advertised, I made signs, I did demos. Glass classes aren't exactly cheap, but you'd think there would be one person who actually signed up, right? So, I guess that isn't my 'thing' to teach. Now I am considering doing much less expensive craft classes, teaching fun crafts geared toward people who think they aren't creative but wish they were. I think everyone is creative, some people just need a few successes to open up their imaginations. As I gather ideas and plan out strategy, I keep coming back to a list of failures - including the glass classes mentioned above.
Failures. Weird failures, if you ask me:
- I volunteered for the Red Cross. They asked me to make one sign. That's all. The coordinator literally told me that they didn't actually need any volunteers, but I could make a sign if I wanted to. I made the sign. I wanted to help somehow.
- I also volunteered to help at my local library. They had a backroom overflowing with un-shelved books and not enough hands to re-shelve them. I submitted my application to be a volunteer. On the application, I said that I checked out over 300 books a year so it seemed fair to help get them back onto the shelves. No one ever responded to the application in any way, even when I called to inquire about it. I ended up leaving a message that was never returned.
- I tried to donate a magazine subscription to the library also. Content they didn't have to pay for, I was willing to pay for it since I couldn't seem to give back any other way. I called repeatedly trying to find out how to make the donation. Cash or actual subscription, I didn't care which. I left messages. I went in person to see the head librarian - who was never available whether by phone or in person. No one would or could tell me how to make a small donation to my local library!
- I tried to donate over 1000 snow shovels as a fundraiser item for the local homeless shelter - in winter! At least there I got to talk to someone who said it had to go to committee and they'd get back to me. No one ever did.
Anyway, I keep coming back to those failures and others. I'm normally a pretty positive person, but I guess it's not real positivity or I wouldn't keep thinking about things that didn't work. I'm at the point where I desperately want to do something that adds value to the world but I'm fatalistic about ever succeeding! If I offer fun, inexpensive classes, will anyone come? It's worth trying, right? Except trying costs money and I'm just about out of spare change. I spent it all trying!
Another of the things I'd like to do is set up sessions that revolve around life-enhancement programs. I find that one of the best ways to cement what you've learned is to help others learn it too. I also find that such sharing helps to keep me motivated through the hard work of improving myself. By improving, I mean I want to be kinder, forgiving, more positive, I just to be a better person. I believe that if you think negative thoughts (like that list of failures!) you get more negative experiences.
By creating a forum to help others, I would also be helping myself to be closer to what I believe is the human ideal. I believe we have total control over our lives, that our thought processes affect our lives, and that we lose connection with our true selves over time. I think very young children still have the 'magic' and we rob them of it with our negative comments and insistence on conformity. I think many great leaders over many centuries have tried to show us the way back to our true nature and we misunderstand the messages. I believe that the only way to really get back there is by helping others. Provide something they need or want. But it can't just be what they need, it has to also be what you neeeeed.
What does that mean 'it has to also be what you neeeeed'? If you are passionate about math, being a tour guide isn't likely to be fulfilling to you. Likewise, if history is your passion, you aren't likely to enjoy tutoring algebra students. Either one might be capable of the other, but you're less likely to give the same value of service if you aren't following your passion. I think we neeeeed to do the things we are passionate about. I also think that it is pretty common that people have no idea what it is they are passionate about.
I've read a number of blogs and life-improvement books that ask the question "If money and time were no object, what would you choose to do?" That is supposed to give you this lightning insight into what your passions are. Did not work for me. It actually took me 49 years to figure out what I am passionate about. Why? I think it is because we aren't taught to follow our passions, we're told to get a good paying job.
I knew a college student several years back who was majoring in accounting and minoring in criminal justice. I asked why that combination. He said accounting was boring but pays really well, and criminal justice is fascinating but pays poorly. How happy do you think he'll be working only for money? I know, many people do exactly that. How many of them are actually happy? I know a lot of people who make a lot of money. Many of them dread Mondays. A lot of them have no energy left at the end of the week. I hear a lot of 'I hate my job' and when I ask why they do it, they say they can't afford to do anything else. When I ask what they would do if they could, few people have any ideas. I think that is because they don't believe they will ever have the option to do anything else. Their optimism for life has been dulled by following a path that isn't suited to them. They don't neeeeed to be doing what ever the job is, they just need the money it brings.
There has to be a way to have both your soul needs and monetary needs met. Some people manage to work at a job for pay and spend the rest of their time doing something they truly love, but what I mean is that you ought to be able to get paid for what you love doing. That's an ideal we hear a lot about. Figure out what you love, do it, and the money will automatically follow. Well, not quite. At least, not for most people. Artists and writers would all have all the money they could possibly need if that were true. No parent would ever say 'I know you love knitting socks, but knitting socks won't earn you a living wage.'
I love learning about human nature, spiritual mastery, and how to make practically anything. I love training new coworkers, teaching people how to do anything I know how to do, and discussing the wonders and mysteries of man and the universe. Surely there is a way to do those things and earn a decent living too.
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