Lifeline

 (songs mentioned are linked for listening or viewing)

Sometimes, life sucks. I don’t mean sometimes we have a bad day. I mean sometimes so much of your life is so totally opposite of what you wish for, that the only way to describe it is to say it sucks. I mean the times that last for weeks or months, even years, on end. If you’re lucky, something comes along to help you get through. You have to get through, you can’t go around it. You can wallow in it or you can get through it. Those are the options.

If you live long enough, there will be several sucky periods to get through. Sounds dreadful, and while you’re there, it is – but without the hard times, the smooth sailing is pretty bland. You grow a lot while you work on getting through. You come out the other side stronger, smarter, and oddly willing to enjoy life. If you aren’t stronger, smarter, and more inclined to appreciate things, you probably haven’t come out the other side yet. Just so you know….

Anyway, something helps you get through. Maybe you see a movie that has one little segment that resonates with you. Maybe you overhear a piece of conversation that gives you a new perspective. Maybe, like me, your lifeline is in a song. Songs are good because you can play them over, you can sing them even if they aren’t playing. I had a song that ran through my head like a little choo-choo on a circular track. I wore out 2 cassettes playing that song endlessly. 

That song, my ‘lifeline’, was “Any Major Dude” by Steely Dan. I love Steely Dan anyway, but I think I owe them my sanity. I was lucky enough to find a Major Dude (two, actually) to tell me that “any minor world that breaks apart, falls together again.”  First it just felt like they were singing directly to me, like Fagin and Becker were my closest friends there to prop me up. I think after playing it about 398457 times over the course of a few days I had brainwashed myself into thinking positively. I started to know it would get better and I would get through it. Eventually I did. Not before wearing out those two cassette tapes though.

That song also led me to recognize that our thoughts have immense power over our attitudes. I could have spent forever lamenting all that had gone wrong and blaming that one (decidedly major) traumatic experience for all my misery. I could still be wallowing in despair. Some people do that for the rest of their lives. Its hard to quit being miserable if all you do is think about how miserable you are.

Steely Dan made me think about what I had to smile about. First, ‘Any Major Dude’ gave me something to smile about. The song made me feel hopeful, the music made me tap my feet, and I would sing along. I feel sorry for my friends and family. I surely did not mumble along, I SANG. I belted out ‘Dude” at the top of my lungs. I dug down into my toes and pulled the words up through the ground and it swelled into a crescendo of catharsis that rattled the windows. I don’t have a fabulous singing voice. No one told me to shut up, so either they just love me a whole lot, or horrible caterwauling of a joyful tune is preferable to whining in misery. Either way, I sang that song a lot.

I find it difficult to reach into my soul, sing, and remain mopey. A couple of songs advise just that; ‘Song Sung Blue’ by Neil Diamond, and ‘Sing’ by The Carpenters. Neil points out that no matter how blue you are when you start, when you sing from the heart you just can’t stay mopey. The Carpenters encourage everyone to just sing, no matter what, and to sing out! I play those songs and bellow along. 

If I don’t have access to actual music, I just sing. I segue from one song to the next. ‘Song Sung Blue’ leads to ‘Sing’. ‘Sing’ leads to an Art Garfunkel tune  ‘I shall Sing’.  These are lively songs. I don’t think its possible to sing them without becoming energized. Youtube makes this a lovely experience. I think the song, type it in, and there it is. Any idea how often they (THEY!!) play ‘I shall Sing’ on the radio? Never. That’s how often. Youtube allows me to play the songs from my streamofconsciousness concert.

That could go anywhere. Today it moved to ‘Calling Occupantsof Interplanetary Craft’ (Carpenters). Another day it might move to ‘YouPositively Lost Me’ (Rave-Ups) or ‘Birdhouse in your Soul’(They Might Be Giants).

Willie Nelson wrote a very interesting little book called ‘The Tao of Willie’. I recommend it! In this book, Willie talks about how what he sang affected his life. He says that one day he realized that his life mirrored his songs when all along he thought his songs mirrored his life. He decided to try singing more positive songs and see what happened. Y’all know the old joke about playing country music backwards to get back your wife, your truck, and your dog? Go read ‘The Tao of Willie’. It has good thoughts, and even more important, it is highly entertaining. 

Then think about what songs you’re singing.