Saturday, July 28, 2012

What if I Fail?

There is a difference between 'failure' and 'lack of success'. Failure is only possible if:
    a)    You don't start.
    b)    You give up.
    c)    You don't learn from whatever goes wrong.

You can have a lack of success and still succeed. If you take up portrait drawing, your first nose is likely to be horrendous. If you decide right then that you suck and never draw another nose, you failed. If you decide not to try to draw because you've heard that noses are hard, you failed. If you keep drawing bad noses and never try to figure out why they're bad, you failed.

On the other hand, if you decide to try in spite of your fears, you succeeded. If you draw 1000 bad noses and finally decide to figure out why they are bad, you succeeded. Even if never get so good at noses that you can get them right on the first try, and they're so realistic they seem to come right off the page, you improved because tried.

Endeavor is a sphere, not a circle. There isn't an inside and an outside, success or failure. There are all degrees of both. You could succeed at portraiture, but fail to become famous because you never showed a single piece to anyone. You could be an okay portrait artist and make tons of money because overtime you sketched a stranger on the street, you showed them the sketch and sold it to them for a few dollars.  If you are doing something you are succeeding. Failure and Success are not opposites. They are degrees of endeavor.

Now, I said above that b) giving up is failure, but it isn't always failure. Sometimes giving up is success. If you realize in the middle of doing that you actually hate what you're doing, or that something else is honestly more fulfilling, then stopping the less ideal behavior in favor of the more ideal behavior is success. You don't have to soldier on just because you started something, but unless you are trading off for something more rewarding (or less damaging) continuing is usually more beneficial.

I started an art glass business, which did pretty well for a few years, then basically tanked. Part of the tanking was the economy, part of it was my own lack of dedication. I just didn't want to put in the necessary effort to keep it going. I learned a lot from it though, so I don't consider it a failure.

I learned that I am good at sales if I believe in the product. I learned that I love designing what the client wants. I learned that I have the courage to admit mistakes and the ability to fix them. I learned that I love being an artist and I hate record keeping. I also learned that record keeping is vital, so I did it even though I hated it.

The biggest success from my art glass business was more confidence in myself. I am an artist, and being an artist actually expanded my creativity. I learned that artistry is everywhere, and I learned that a lot of people think they aren't creative and wish they were. Since I also love teaching, closing my art glass business opened a door that delights me - teaching creativity. And the most important thing I can teach you is that you cannot possibly fail as long as you do something toward fulfilling your true self.